Asking better questions

Photo by Clarene Lalata on Unsplash

There are two types of question – questions that stop the conversation, and questions that cause people to stop and think.

Whether presenting, persuading or facilitating, questions are one of the most powerful tools we have. Yet most of us grew up encouraged to focus on having the right answer. We don't get better grades by asking questions!

There are many areas in business where asking questions is more important than having the right answer. Creativity, complex problem solving and changing opinions are all examples of situations where there is no right answer. As I've written before, treating complex problems like organisational change as "solvable" by expertise alone can be ineffective and cause frustration. One way of understanding the difference between productive and unproductive questions is to consider conversations as a game. Professor James Carse studied these "games", and makes the distinction between two fundamental types of game played in business and in life. 

The first type of game is played for the sake of winning. It has fixed rules, which players need to learn. The game starts, we play by the rules, the game ends and there's a winner and a loser. Carse calls this a finite game.

The second type of game is played for the sake of continuing the game. The purpose of the game is to continue play, so winning is avoided. This is called an infinite game, and in order to continue the game, we have to play with the rules to adapt to new situations and players.

In finite games, questions are met with answers. This is the expert game; the "I have the answer game".

In infinite games, questions provoke exploration which may lead to suggestions or insights, but answers are avoided because they immediately stop play. Answers are final, good questions open up new ways of thinking about the "game" (challenge) itself.

There are two types of question – questions that stop the conversation, and questions that cause others to stop and think.

So what do great questions look like?

Great questions are open

Great questions are open in two senses. The first is open as in allowing for answers beyond "yes" or "no".

Eg closed question: Did you see the news last night? (Answer – yes / no)

Eg open question: How was last night?

The second way is that they open up thinking and create possibility, which includes opening up intelligence rather than defaulting to known solutions. 

Great questions bring our own intelligence

Great questions bring our own thoughts and understanding, and are accompanied by a genuine curiosity – this is something I'm interested in, how do others see this? Are there other ways of thinking about it?

Great questions assume agency and intelligence of the listener

Questions based on an assumption of there being "a right answer" often assume that others are less smart or educated than us. Assuming that we don't have all the answers opens up different ways of thinking that draw on intelligence from other domains of expertise, cultures or life experiences.

There are a couple of great benefits to asking questions that lead to infinite games. One is that we empower others. We draw on collective intelligence and help others realise what they have to contribute. If we're a leader, that means a more engaged team that requires less attention.

The other benefit is that we create conversations that have a lightness and fun about them. While leading is not about being liked, helping others engage constructively can lighten the mood and generate productive conversations.

Finite, knowledge-based questions cause the conversation to stop. Infinite, adaptive and intelligent questions cause people to stop to think. When this happens, we're no longer playing a finite game, and we can be sure that the result will be more engagement and insight.

What sort of questions are you asking and what questions do you need to ask?

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